Back to Bigfoot Eruption Point of Contact…
Back to Fallen Contributors…
This is a comeback story. A reconstructing of sorts. Not sure if this would go in the RECONSTRUCYTION section, but this is my reconstrauction. Let’s see if it can apply and help others too. Maybe you will have your own unique reconstruction journey.
As I switch to speaking in the first person, I can say that it has been a challenge taking in information from those with hard questions. Mostly from this that have decided that God is not worthy. It rubbed off on me some.
Realizing this doubt creeping in, and yet God is just too Big to turn my back on. SO here is what I did.
One:
Almost in sarcasm I chose to not listen to sports radio or my favorite Christian rock music on my way to work. “Ok, I am listening!”
So, on my morning drive to work, silence, except if I prayed outload or tried to sing partial songs that I could remember. Giving God a chance to “speak” to me.
God must understand our frustration, because even though I felt God had walked away from me during my angry sarcastic rants, He seemed to be there when I would throw out a fleece like Gideon did. “God if this is really you telling me this, please make this fleece wet, but the ground dry.” For me, this is proof. Proof to no one else, right? Unless you genuinely believe my interpretation as a God moment. But for me, and that is very big. That is a start.
Again, in this quiet time on my way to work, I have been more willing to sing partial songs, before quietly praying and having thoughts, but mostly listening.
Note: I pray all day, through-out, so this was more of a listening time. A fasting, a giving up, surrendering my usual morning routine, for Him.
Since stating this I have felt I have turned the page, and have felt Him, somehow say a few things to me.
One thing was to start walking the nature trail at work. I have been praying to miraculously lose weight, so maybe He needs me to take this effort, perhaps it will kick in the stamina and calorie burning that I need for Him to kick start this request. Using my body in this way, to get the job done. I have been asking this for a long time, but this is the first time I felt a direction pertaining to it.
I have felt two other things from Him, during my drives to work. Thinking, thinking, I will remember them soon.
Two:
The word about walking the Nature Trail actually happened after this next step. On my drives to work yes, but after this next part.
I emailed my Bigfooting Pastor friend, Pastor Matt, asking for meetings to discuss the harder Biblical questions, and to consider Bible Studies, Sunday School classes, or other, to share and compare thoughts with other Christians.
As soon as I did this, the peace came back to me. The trust I needed to fully feel God in my life again, even though we still have many questions to sift through.
This was like pushing a “Go” button. Pastor made had not even responded yet, and I felt better. Like, taking a step of faith, was honored, by Him.
Note: It was scary to send that email, because stepping out is hard/committing to doing more, and in front of others.
Three:
Recalling the timeline starting back in 2016…
Recalling that God said no to me getting a good paying job out of the Air Force. I eventually landed at my current job where I am free to listen to Bigfoot and spiritual type podcasts.
I started a Bigfoot website, which did not go viral, and still does not pay its own bills, but did feel like I finally knew my passion.
Next, I met Wyman Smith at a Bigfoot Conference, and helped him build his Bigfoot website, which included a spiritual section. He did not want me adding my own content to the spiritual section because it was supposed to represent his thoughts, so I made a sub site off of Bigfoot Eruption, called Fallen Eruption, and started filling it with the more spiritual content.
Thinking it would be for testimonies that would make any hardened person believe; I was wrong. Instead, it is a place for all the hard questions, which led me to reaching out to Pastor Matt.
Race (Making a Comeback); image, by rodrigobittencurt – Pixabay.
Race (Making a Comeback); image, by rodrigobittencurt – Pixabay.
Four:
I had a dream, well not a dream. I wasn’t asleep, but was in bed, and I opened my eyes and said, “I just had a flash of an image.” It was a truck driving to my training in Florida where I went three times in my Air Force career. I hated going there. They would lock us in and we lived in a tent city. We would go to class and at the end of the week we would simulate war scenarios.
I always felt it was hell on earth, and at least a prison sentence. So over twenty years, I went there three times. The final time, I had been given orders to a base that no longer had that training requirement, but my boss asked me to go anyway because it was easier than finding a replacement.
So, back to the story…
So, in this flash, a giant man got out of the back of the truck, a military truck, as it drove into the front gate. Tall skinny pines everywhere as the road was still far enough away from the camp and it can’t be seen.
I thought the man was God, but it may have been one of my angels as he resembled me. He landed on his feet and held his arms up in a fighting pose, as if, “Bring it on, Child of God in this camp, demons back off!”
I felt I had to take this as an encouragement from God. If I had fallen asleep just for a blip of time, do dreams happen only having been asleep for two or three seconds? (July 29, 2023)
Five:
Pastor Matt said no to my email request to meet about discussing the hard questions that don’t get taught at church. He said some things and did not say other things. The question remains, how do we learn to answer the hard questions. The answer I got was that we don’t answer them, but focus on the Gospel; meaning, the weird stuff would have us chasing our tails. I paraphrase.
This is a lot like how Bigfoot researchers say that the weird stuff gets in the way, so they don’t address it.
We are still in need of a Christian that loves Jesus and knows the Bible, which my email to my pastor friend did not produce. It makes us realize that we should reach out to Wyman Smith, who fits this description, as an ex-Christian who turned Jewish, but loves Jesus and knows the whole Bible really well. (July 29, 2023)
Six:
I told a contact at church my situation. She said that she felt a prophetic word, that I would do great things pertaining to my trying to help people by answering these tough questions. To keep at it, but not to waste my efforts on those that would sting me. When the world goes completely bonkers, then I will be ready when they call on me. Also, that she sees me spreading my arms and collecting people; a lot of people that will be touched by my efforts. Those just eluding my fingertips will not want to hear my words, but will eventually be glad, and thankful as they are also collected in. So, it is ok to be careful when speaking to those that will trash my efforts. Save it for those that are ready. (July 30, 2023)
*****
I felt a word that was to talk to Brad more. Otherwise known as the Seattle Point of Contact. I have yet to do this but have tried to be involved with some of the group email threads that I am on. I need to call him. Why, because he would be a balance in my life. Balancing the fact that I have a certain contact that is flooding me with negatives about God.
Walking the nature trail, a word I thought I had heard, to walk the nature trail, presuming it to mean that this act would then be honored by God helping more with weight loss, over-all fitness and stamina, and possible strengthening or healing my knees. I only did it twice, so I need to do it more. Like my daily, “Jesus in the desert” moment.
Today: August 24, 2023, I felt a word from the Lord. Again, I feel that since I am trying to hear from Him, I need to consider that these feelings of a “Word from Him” are from Him. The word, meaning, message, was very cool. By the time I got to work, I had forgotten was the message was. Are we too busy with stuff! Otherwise, how could I forget it? Does it mean that if I don’t cherish or tend to it more, that it will be taken from me?
This has happened to me before. “I have the greatest idea in the world!” And then, “Oh I should have written it down, because i have forgotten what it was!” In those moments, many times as a kid, I never thought that those thoughts were from God. They were such exciting and good ideas, that they could have been from God. Quite the mystery!
But now I am listening on purpose. And no matter what a deconstructionist or a pre-deconstructionist may say, there is just too much good from God, within me, to turn away. “Oh, you are disillusioned by God!” Why does anyone care if I am disillusioned by God? What are they disillusioned by? Go attack someone from some other religion. What, you have no issues with them? Hmmm, that sounds like a clue to me.
New info: an actual part of the Bible that is wrong, perhaps by translation errors. You say, “How could God do that.” Again, God is still God, and we have a lifetime to grow/learn. What are the odds that “error” is there for a reason? More to explore.